THE TRUTH AND OTHER LIES
Yes, I know we are skipping the intro.
Weddings and commercials.
Yeah, skip the intro.
Mario, I heard you the first time.
I said skip the fucking intro.
According to statistics from the Sociological Research Center,
the divorce rate here in our country is ten times higher
than 20 years ago.
Yet to our surprise, the very same poll indicates
the number of weddings in Spain, far from falling,
has also increased during the same period of time.
Apparently our youngest couples
are starting to see marriage as a business rather than a commitment.
Incentives for young homeowners
and tax breaks for having kids...
What's she doing?
It's always the same story with that mute... woman.
We also asked the following question...
She doesn't need to make so many gestures.
With her face, I mean.
Ready...
Camera one.
Susana, when we finish we'd better talk
about your friend Lea.
Why all the make-up if she's so small on screen?
And her hair!
- Hi, Susana. - Hi.
It's just Mario.
The usual producer bullshit.
Don't worry.
It's not about you.
They love your work.
- We're finished, Susana. - Okay, thanks.
See you tomorrow.
Am I overacting?
I'm just trying to do my job. And my job consists of
moving my hands. They may not realize.
How can I translate otherwise?
Lea, don't worry. Just forget it.
It makes me so angry. My qualities are going to waste.
I could do every job at this channel.
But since I'm a deaf-mute...
Skimmed milk by the liter, 71 cents.
Four-pack of yogurts,
1.49.
Don't miss the meat section.
Sliced pork loin at an unbelievable price.
Cuetara fiber cookies
will help your body convert fat into...
He's not so bad.
A bit dry, but...
But nothing. He doesn't transmit.
He just needs more time.
I'm bringing back the recordings, like in our other stores.
No. The recordings are cold.
You lose the human element. The one-on-one contact, the warmth...
...and pizza.
Fire him.
What?
Sorry, I've got a cold.
A delightful...
Did you hear me?
Yeah, fine. But he's a professional.
And...
and...
he's my best friend, Monica.
You don't understand.
Orders from Mr. Velasco.
Right.
Well, if that's what my dad wants...
I'm in bad shape.
Listen, Ernesto...
Mind if I leave early today? I don't feel well.
No. If today you're not feeling well again...
My head feels like it could explode. I'm going in for tests.
- We have to talk. - Sure.
Look, I think this job is beneath you.
I don't know. I think you need something more... creative.
Creative?
Listen to this: "Accounting."
Numbers aren't my thing.
Everybody learns.
Actually I prefer this. You know radio's my medium.
But your chances of promotion would be better.
- It's in your best interest. - Thanks, but no. Anything else?
No, that's it.
Did you hear yesterday's gardening specials?
I was at my best, huh?
Okay, okay.
Don't you worry, you're in great shape.
When do I get the results?
In a couple days.
- A couple days. - They'll call you.
They'll call me, thank you.
How long will he live?
Six months.
Three at the most.
Good afternoon.
I know I haven't been called,
but since the other patient left...
Okay, Ernesto. You know what to do.
Remember not to move during the process.
So just relax
and breathe slowly. You'll be done in ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Hello?
Hello. Did they leave you all alone?
Yeah. But I think I was done a while ago.
Let me see.
Yes, that's right. All set.
What's your name?
Garcia Riera,
Ernesto.
Are you sure this is it?
If you do the numbers...
If you wanted to, you two could afford something like this, too.
Well, maybe not quite as big,
but what matters is owning something.
In a couple years...
- Impossible. - Prices will skyrocket.
You see?
We're fine living with my folks.
Oh, right, we're fine.
We opened a homeowner's account. It's tax deductible.
- That's right. - No, my stomach...
We have to toast!
Please.
Here.
Okay, well...
We have some news.
This may sound rash,
all right?
But with this kind of stuff you have to just leap in.
Alberto and I are getting married.
No.
Yes.
When?
Right away. May 18th.
This month?
Yes.
- Isn't it incredible? - Congratulations!
I can't believe it either.
Well, stud?
You're surprised, huh?
- It's great. - Completely.
Congratulations.
Well? How about dinner?
I love you. I love you.
And I love you.
Then why marry him?
Why not?
Because they're dirty.
You're a disaster. Grab those.
Sorry.
And the fear of commitment.
What fear?
I don't know.
But supposedly we men are afraid of commitment.
I'm not afraid.
Shit, neither am I.
But marriage?
What for?
That's right. What for?
We're just fine as we are.
Then why did you propose?
I'm wondering the same thing.
You'd better think this through.
A wedding is serious stuff. You have to be sure. Especially with Susana.
Is something wrong?
Wrong? You're asking me?
You're the one marrying Susana without being sure.
Give it some thought first, Alberto.
Hey, I understand why you're upset.
With Lea's situation...
It's too bad.
Her getting fired is unfair. She was just starting to...
Shit!
I thought...
I don't even have time to think.
With the new house and all...
and my job, which you know stresses me out.
- You know? - Sure, right.
Then there's all the wedding preparations.
I can't even tell you.
So much is happening to me, there's nothing I can do.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Actually, I'm going through something incredible.
But of course I shouldn't tell you.
There's another.
Another what?
Another man, of course!
A real hunk...
you wouldn't believe.
How did you meet him?
Jogging.
What's his name?
Like I said, he's...
a real manly...
macho man.
And...
go figure.
His name is Johnson.
Johnson?
An athlete. Always traveling.
A foreigner?
Very foreign.
I don't understand. The bus at two in the morning?
- We have to save money. - Since when?
Since now. We have to save money since right now.
Besides, the bus is healthier.
No, it isn't. It's tacky.
What's wrong with you?
Alberto's afraid to tell me,
but the supermarket's going to fire me.
- What? - I don't know.
They might use a recording instead.
I told you, Ernesto. Get with it.
There's no future in public address systems.
I'll find something.
What will you find?
You're only there because it's Alberto's father.
At least we have my salary.
That's right.
His name is Johnson?
I couldn't believe it.
But come to think of it...
No, it's impossible.
But back at university before she met Ernesto, Lea was...
What?
Well, pretty loose.
Lea?
We should be honest with each other.
Especially now that we're getting married.
Don't you think?
Have you anything to tell me?
Don't worry. Whatever it is,
I'd understand.
Yeah.
I love you a lot.
Garcia Riera.
Is something wrong?
No... no.
Please, come in.
I knew it.
We need more tests, but it's a very clear case.
Tests? What tests?
Blood tests, brain scans...
What do I do in the meantime?
Don't lose hope.
But above all,
make the most of...
your time.
It looks like you've got about three months.
Three months?
I had no idea you were pregnant.
- Isn't it obvious? - When is it due?
If all goes well, in three months.
Three months?
The time will fly right by.
- It's around the corner. - Three months.
How lucky!
I'm pretty tired, actually.
The league is heating up. Four teams can still win the title
and the race is so close that
we'll have to wait three months to crown a champion.
Things hadn't been so tight for years.
BUY NOW, PAY IN 3 MONTHS!
Package of assorted cookies,
2.85.
Try one of our many milk products from Asturias.
Bleach,
two liter economy-size...
Let's see here... the lady in brown buying rice.
Yeah, you.
What's your problem?
You've been standing there comparing for half an hour.
It's just a package of rice!
Your whole life buying the same brand. Now you want to change.
But the Basmati
costs more. How much?
A few cents? One euro?
Take a chance. Do it.
Buy the Basmati. What do I care?
Sit there all day if you want.
You can't waste your life hesitating. Buy the rice you want
and take it home. Go ahead.
And here's some advice to the rest of you.
Forget the specials and all that saving crap.
Buy whatever you want. What you really #want. #
And above all, don't waste your time.
Don't waste your time!
You'll get a second opinion, right?
They can do wonders nowadays.
- There's a neurologist in my family. - Yeah.
No. I want to lead a normal life, not waste my time
in hospitals.
Alberto's right, my love. We need a second opinion.
Lea, the doctor was absolutely certain.
I have a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball. I saw it myself.
Come on, don't take it so hard.
Look on the bright side.
Which one?
Well, look.
I bought this great watch today and I don't pay for 3 months.
And since by then I won't be...
I love you a ton, Ernesto.
Tons...
and tons...
Why don't you two move in with us for a while?
We've got plenty of room.
They need their intimacy.
Intimacy, living with his folks?
I don't want to impose.
Honey, they have so much space...
It's decided. You're moving in.
Whatever you say. We're at your service.
I don't think I'm up for it...
None of that. You have to be positive.
Anything but sitting in a chair
watching the days pass.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, if you insist...
There is something I'd like to do.
Come on! Everybody in the water!
Let's go!
- Should we? - No, no.
Yeah, come on.
Yeah, let's go!
You guys don't have to do this just for me.
- I told you that. - Why do you say that?
It's true. Nobody's sincere.
You don't mean us.
Look, I'm perfectly aware your dad wants to fire me
and you won't tell me. And you.
Me what?
That's right.
It's all lies.
Ernesto, please calm down.
None of you are sincere. I'm sick of it.
You make me feel ridiculous.
The last thing I need right now is your pity.
What's so funny?
Sorry, it's just...
You, so serious, and you pecker hanging out.
Not very serious.
Let's play a game.
You start. Remember the rule, you have
- to tell the truth. - Okay,
let's see.
First question.
What do they think of Lea's work?
Different things.
Some like her more than others.
Yeah, but what do the bosses think?
That's what we want to hear.
Well, Mario's a jerk. But I've managed
to figure him out.
Am I missing something?
You're getting fired.
I'm getting fired? Why?
Well...
it's production stuff.
Don't worry. If they don't appreciate you, it's their loss.
Did you know?
I'd heard.
Right.
That's okay.
Susana, it's your turn to ask.
All right, well...
as long as we're being honest,
I'd like to know if you really want to marry me.
How can you ask me such a thing?
Because you don't seem excited.
I think you're doing it because of your parents and the house...
You don't know what you're talking about.
Okay.
Are you excited to marry me?
Yes or no?
No.
What?
No.
No?
No.
No?
No, okay?
Then why the fuck did you propose?
Because I love you. It's what you want.
And my parents bought us a house. And they want a wedding.
So your parents paid for it!
All that talk about doing the numbers!
It's a wedding present.
Is that suddenly illegal? Anyway, the point is...
That you don't want to marry me.
A wedding's just a formality. What matters is that
- we love each other. - I got it.
- Shit, Susana. - Next question?
Well, it's my turn. I don't know.
Fine, let's see. Lea...
Have you ever had a lover?
No.
No?
Does the name Johnson ring a bell?
I don't know
who you mean.
Well, Johnson's a friend of mine
who plays sports, and...
He doesn't exist.
I made him up. I'm sick of
Susana always having everything and me having nothing.
Why lie to me?
You having nothing?
I told you.
You be quiet.
I can't believe you made up something like that.
I'm sorry, my love.
Your turn, Lea.
Okay, darling.
If you could make any wish, what would it be?
Seriously.
It's stupid.
Go on, say it.
The first thing that came to mind...
- Normally I wouldn't say this. - Come on!
Well,
before I die, I'd like to sleep with Susana.
Just once.
"Once"? What are you talking about?
It's the truth.
We said we wouldn't get angry.
Who's angry? I don't see anyone getting angry! Do you?
I don't get that part about you making up a lover
because you had nothing.
Is that really how you feel?
No, it's just a figure of speech.
Hey, what about you?
What you said about Susana.
Had the thought crossed your mind before tonight?
No, it just popped into my head. Without thinking.
I hope it didn't upset you.
No.
I'll wait for you in the car.
Lea, come on!
Slut, whore, slut, slut, whore.
You are such a whore.
Shit!
You're the one
who insisted they sleep in our bedroom.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Because I want to marry you.
This time I'm serious. Forget my parents and the house.
I'm talking about you and me.
- Sure. - Sure, what?
Nothing.
Look, the invitations are sent, the church is booked...
And we love each other, don't we?
I don't give a damn about the invitations.
Neither do I. All I care about is being with you.
Let's get married.
You're the one who wasn't sure last night.
What's changed since then?
All this truth stuff has opened my eyes.
And it's got nothing to do with Ernesto saying
he wanted to sleep with me...
Please! If you think that, you don't know me.
You're terrified.
How can you think this is about Ernesto?
It's your business and I could care less.
By the way...
will you sleep with him?
Hey, I grabbed one of your shirts out of the closet. Do you mind?
Help yourself.
Ernesto, come on.
I was thinking about what you said, about sleeping with Susana...
I'm grateful.
Thank you for being so honest.
I really didn't give it much thought.
That's why I want to be honest with you as well.
That's the point, right?
That's right. Look, I avoided it until now.
It's silly. But after what you said
at the supermarket the other day, it seems Mr. Velasco...
Your father.
Right, my father. Mr. Velasco.
He doesn't want you around anymore. You're fired.
Fired?
Yeah, but hey.
I'm being honest with you.
Because I know that's what matters most.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Well, I have to run.
To work. Stop by anytime to sign your release form.
Ciao.
It's fresh.
Sit down, it'll get cold.
I'm not used to people making me breakfast.
It's not something I do often.
Where's Lea?
She sleeps late.
I'm glad you decided to stay.
Well, we're leaving today.
What? Why? Don't leave.
How are you
feeling?
Great.
You look great. Better than ever.
Look who's talking.
Sorry.
I've already got one.
- How'd you sleep? - Coffee?
Hey, how did you sleep?
Coffee?
Yes.
How long have you known?
Known what?
That they want to fire me.
I found out recently.
You were going to tell me, right?
Of course, Lea.
I didn't get a chance.
Right.
And the Ernesto thing.
The Ernesto thing is horrible. We have to help him any way possible.
Help him?
That's right.
He must be going through hell.
How do you think I feel?
You must be devastated.
You have no idea.
From now on I won't leave him alone for a second.
Good afternoon. Plenty of news today.
This time of year
the heat returns,
and with it the typical spring...
What's she waiting for?
... also plenty of dust.
Where the hell did she go?
Allergies ravage the city.
Thousands experience itching...
THIS PROGRAM HAS NO RESPECT FOR THE HANDICAPPED.
What the hell is she saying?
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
I'M NOT A DOG, I'M A DEAF-MUTE.
Next segment!
Zoom on Susana!
What the fuck are you doing?
- Cut to video! - Which one?
I don't give a fuck!
Closing.
- What's going on here? - Nothing, I'm leaving.
Where are you going?
Haven't you seen
the latest figures?
We sold more Basmati in one day than we had all month.
But...
But nothing.
Well, well, well.
It's all been resolved.
It pains me... it pains me...
but I told Ernesto his services are no longer needed.
Can we talk a second?
- What? Did I miss something? - No, no.
I have to admit, you were right. He's got skills.
He connects with people. He liked radio, right?
Yeah, but you said my father...
That was before we saw the latest figures.
Besides, he's a friend of yours...
Afternoon, everyone.
I thought I was getting fired today, but as you can see,
here I am again.
So... there's something I've always wanted to do:
Play a good song.
Here's the deal:
I'll play real music instead of that elevator crap we usually play,
and each of you will buy something
that you really want.
Here goes,
dedicated to all of you. Buy yourselves
a little something that you don't really need.
Yeah, he's got a great voice. Very natural.
I thought you could give us a hand.
I'll introduce you to him.
The new results will arrive in ten days.
But you heard the doctor. You have to start chemotherapy.
- In ten days? - Normally, yes. Why?
I've got a wedding to go to.
A wedding? You're getting married?
Yeah, that's right. It was unexpected.
This kind of stuff you just have to leap in.
Sure, of course. Does she know about your tumor?
Yeah, she knows everything.
She loves me a lot. She's a great girl.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Okay, goodbye.
Goodbye.
We got a lot of calls after the... misunderstanding the other day.
It seems you're a hit.
I'd like you to stay on with us.
Think it over.
We really value your work.
And with you here, everybody wins.
The channel, the audience, you and me.
And the deaf.
The deaf, they matter most.
So that's a yes?
I WANT MORE SPACE
Space?
Good afternoon.
As you know, this channel has always stood out for its innovative spirit.
That's why from now on we've decided to change our format,
to comply with the three fundamental principles
that we champion:
Objective information, quality content
and above all a strong social commitment.
Ernesto's stuff can go in here. Do you need a hand?
- No, I can do it. - You should rest, my love.
I'll do it.
You do look tired.
Well, a little.
You need to take a break. You look run-down.
Excuse me.
She's right, sweetie. Let's go to bed.
It's not that.
I just felt a bit faint, but I'm okay.
That's normal. You're weak. You want me
to make you some dinner?
What service! You lucky devil.
He feels faint.
No, I'm fine, really.
That's your wedding suit.
Yeah, it's coming up fast.
We're practically man and wife.
It's beautiful.
Ernesto, can I have a word?
Okay, but first make him some dinner.
Of course.
Don't worry about me, really.
Anything you want.
Proteins.
That's what the doctor said.
But actually I've been yearning all day for a good steak.
There's no way.
And we'd be able to see
the crocodiles and the rhinos and...
Listen to this: We could do illegal stuff like hunt an elephant.
Well, an elephant...
No? That's all right.
Here's a good one:
A cruise in a nuclear submarine
from the old U.S.S.R.
- I don't think so. - You don't think so?
Fine. You're not into the submarine.
Ernesto, I want to do something for you, but you're making it hard.
I'm grateful but it's really not necessary.
Fine. Just say the word.
Tell me what you want. Out with it.
Nothing.
No, what you want is to screw Susana.
All I said is it would be nice. But since it upsets you...
Not at all.
Choosing the elephant would have been weirder.
- Sorry. - I'm finished. Come in.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
I couldn't sleep so I got up.
I put on Alberto's suit. How silly.
I see.
It's a bit weird.
No, no.
Ernesto?
What are you doing?
Hello?
I'll be right out!
Are you in pain?
No!
- Open the door! - No...
- Ernesto, are you okay? - I'll be right out.
Ernesto!
Open up!
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Why are you dressed like that?
I don't know.
Oh, my love.
Don't worry, it'll be okay.
I hope so.
You look so handsome
- dressed as a groom. - Yeah?
Let's go to bed.
Where were you?
I couldn't sleep so I went for a quickie with Ernesto in the garden.
God!
And that did the trick, I assume.
Yeah, it did.
You want to try some, too?
Well?
I can't take it anymore.
I wake up every night, obsessed...
It's all I think about.
They should just fuck and get it over with.
No.
No, what?
Ernesto doesn't want to sleep with Susana.
- He doesn't? - He wants more.
What do you mean?
They're falling in love.
What can we do?
There's nothing we can do.
But my wedding's next week.
You think I'm happy about it?
But he's dying. Can't you see that?
I'd say good morning, but it's not a very nice day out there.
So let's cut all the lies and bullshit.
How about a game to cheer us up?
Make a wish. Something you really want.
I want you to make that wish come true.
Don't hesitate. Don't think it over.
You want a blender? Buy one.
Fancy the beach? Just go.
Grab a parasol while you're at it.
Life is flying by,
like a bullet. So forget your prejudice and all your problems.
Make your wishes come true!
Your friend's on fire today.
He's overdoing it.
Oh, right. We're selling too much. We'd better stop him.
What? Is selling all that matters?
In a supermarket? You bet.
Everything was going great. I was getting married.
Then suddenly, boom!
Death. That's hard to compete with, you know.
Did you hear me? Death.
I have to get back...
Wait, hold on.
I have something important to say.
Make your point.
Yeah, okay.
Imagine I had a terrible disease...
That I had 3 months to live.
And that
my last wish was to sleep with you.
Goodbye, Alberto.
No, wait. Please, Monica. I need to know.
Would you do it?
- No. - No?
Of course not.
Why not?
I'd assume you were lying.
Say that again.
Guys will say anything to get laid.
That's it.
What?
Guys can be such assholes!
I can't believe you could think such a thing.
You're out of line, Alberto.
Being jealous is one thing...
Ernesto is always complaining.
For no reason.
- Why is this time any different? - He wouldn't lie about a tumor.
Unless...
Unless what?
Unless Ernesto's after something beyond his reach.
Like sleeping with Susana.
Look, this is wearing me out.
Yeah, please. Just drop it.
Help me choose the flowers.
Let's go.
Hello.
It's just that if Ernesto
hadn't told us he was dying,
he'd never have said the Susana thing.
Alberto, you're being absurd.
But isn't it logical?
We've all met sick people. They don't act
like Ernesto, for God's sake.
We still don't know how his body will react.
But what we do know is I offered
to find him another specialist,
and what did he say?
He wasn't interested.
That's up to him.
You should convince him to get a second opinion.
How? He won't even let me go to the hospital with him.
And why not?
Just think about it for a second.
Take a look at him.
He looks better than ever.
He hasn't showed us any results.
No brain scans, not a speck of proof.
He's perfectly fine.
He just wants our blessing to sleep with my Susana.
The son of a bitch.
Try "C." "C" as in Cuenca.
I'll call you later.
Good evening.
- Hi, darling. - Hi.
Did you go to the hospital?
Yeah, after lunch.
Is everything okay?
Well, no. I'm exhausted.
You look just fine to me. Better than ever.
It's true, you don't look sick at all.
I'd even say you've put on weight.
Wait until I start the chemotherapy tomorrow.
You don't have to go alone. I'II go with you.
Actually I'd rather you didn't. It's very unpleasant.
You know?
Here.
I talked to my uncle the neurologist.
He said he could take a look at your results. No strings.
The new results come in next Friday. The day before your wedding.
Why does it take so long?
I wondered the same thing.
But you already had a scan.
Show it to Alberto's uncle.
Well, if you say so.
I'll find it later.
I can find it for you if you're tired.
It's in my closet.
Fine, I'll check your closet.
It can't be far.
No, wait.
I forgot, I left it at the hospital. I'll ask for it tomorrow.
Whatever happens, please don't go through this door.
I don't want you to see me. It's very unpleasant.
Let's go.
What did I tell you?
There's no chemotherapy room. He probably hid and used a back door.
I don't care what you say.
I want to leave. This isn't funny.
Who are you calling?
Ernesto, of course.
To find out where he's hiding and quit wasting our time.
Ernesto?
Oh, my God!
You're really dying!
Do you need any more proof?
Stop acting like a child!
I'll never forgive you for this.
It's unbelievable.
Ernesto's dying and all you think about is nonsense.
Okay, fine. Enough already.
I'm sorry.
What I'm about to say,
Susana... it breaks my heart.
But...
you should sleep with him.
What?
If it's his dying wish, it's really only sex...
Do you realize what you're saying?
Your wedding is in three days.
Precisely, Lea.
That's exactly why. I'd rather it happen before
the wedding.
Can you stop thinking about yourself for a second?
What matters here is Ernesto.
Right.
I think Alberto's right.
Otherwise things could get mixed up.
And that wouldn't be good for anyone.
Fine.
I'll talk to him.
Or let us talk to him.
Don't you worry.
She's upset.
Confused.
She feels pressured.
Smothered.
But...
Ernesto. What's happening to you is awful.
But you've put us in a difficult situation.
The truth is,
Susana says you're great friends.
But sleeping together...
Did she say that?
I didn't mean to upset everyone.
Then you don't want to anymore?
No, of course not.
I don't want you to feel awkward.
Are you sure? Just so everything
is clear. You don't want to sleep with Susana.
Not if it upsets you.
That's so noble of you!
It's for the best, my love.
And sorry about...
No, it's all cleared up now.
And forgotten.
Planning a wedding must be such a pain.
Opening the gifts, choosing a menu for the banquet,
the dress, with a veil and everything...
Lea, please, get ready.
The rings, so pretty...
Monica will be here soon.
Will Alberto and Susana mind your boss coming to dinner?
I don't know. They had to test the menu.
Whenever I think about it...
Ernesto thought it was hilarious. He didn't even remember having said it.
He seemed serious when he said it.
He said you weren't his type.
Lea being so thin and all...
Did he call me fat?
No, that's not the word he used.
But admit there's a difference.
Sure, the difference between a woman and a board.
I don't know. Lea...
She appeals to modern tastes.
Petite, skinny...
It's in fashion.
She's a social climber and a liar.
You're not being fair.
Oh, right. Poor thing.
I'm surprised Ernesto would say such things.
He's more subtle.
Being crude is more your thing.
If I knew it would bother you...
Excuse me. You called me fat.
I'm sorry I'm not as subtle as Ernesto.
You're jealous.
Good lord.
Jealous of what?
Of Ernesto.
I don't see why.
Because everything you've told me is a lie.
And tonight,
to make it up to you, I'm going to sleep with your best friend.
Have we chosen the menu?
Yes. The fowl mousse, the salmon tartare
and the poulard.
- Desserts? - Oui.
- How are you, Ernesto? - Fine.
Good. I don't think you two have met.
Mario, this is Ernesto. Ernesto, Mario.
- Nice to meet you. - I've listened to you.
You're a wizard with the microphone.
Honey, are you almost ready?
She can't hear me. Wine?
Yes, yes.
Nice phrasing is one thing,
brilliance is another. And what I heard was brilliant.
Really?
- Hello. - Holy shit!
Lea, this is Monica and...
Mario. Hello.
I can't believe it. What a coincidence!
What a small world!
You know each other?
She's my favorite newscaster.
What did she say?
She said...
Excuse us a second.
Okay, okay.
- How do you know her? - At the studio, didn't I tell you?
Just move your hands. I'll make up a translation.
Ernesto, this won't work. It can't.
He's my boss.
And please stop drinking. For God's sake.
Ever since Lea made...
her surprise appearance on the program
we've been up almost two and a half points.
I'M JUST PART OF A GREAT TEAM OF PROFESSIONALS.
She's very pleased, but she says her salary should be reviewed.
Well-said, damnit. Very decisive.
We'll discuss it on Monday.
YOU'RE SO FULL OF SHIT. STOP DRINKING.
She says this wine's great. You like it?
Yes, yes.
It's delicious. Too bad it's running out.
There's more.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
Would you excuse me?
How's the wine coming?
You're a real sick bastard!
She can't hear you!
You're not
a deaf-mute.
It's obvious.
Please.
Don't tell your husband.
Husband? Mario's married, but not to me.
Don't worry.
I'll talk to the company's radio station.
They might be interested in a direct feed from the supermarket.
Especially if you mention brand names.
Hey, radio's always been my medium.
But Susana really prefers TV.
You mean Lea.
I said Lea.
No, you said Susana.
No, no.
Yes.
Who's Susana?
The other one. The one that talks.
The one you liked.
She's cute, I admit it.
But who wouldn't like Susana?
Don't you think she's pretty?
Objectively.
- She's all right. - It's okay.
Mario, drop it.
I didn't say anything wrong.
If she's cute,
she's cute. It's nothing
to get nervous about.
The truth is,
- she's a fucking rocket. - Mario...
Stop it!
You see? I told you.
That accident wasn't your fault.
You can speak.
Repeat it with me:
"I'm not guilty."
I'm not guilty.
Unbelievable!
Evening... everyone.
Look who's here!
If I'd known you were coming...
I didn't know either.
Hi.
Good night. And thank you.
I don't feel very well.
It could be because you drank a bit.
You're not kidding.
Come on, bedtime. You're drunk.
Later you can explain the secret work dinner.
Alberto, you're such an angel.
Good night.
How about a cocktail?
No.
You want some wine?
No.
- Are you sure? - No!
- Susana... - What?
You look great.
Should we sit here and applaud?
Thanks. You're falling over.
When it comes to sex,
I may not look it but I'm very old-fashioned.
It's not that I'm a prude...
But some things I won't do.
And knowing what Lea's like...
What's she like?
I don't know if I can measure up.
Especially in terms of flexibility and certain...
kinky stuff.
No, I won't sleep with you.
Were you going to sleep with me? Really?
There are too many reasons not to.
But Lea's a corpse in bed.
Don't tell me that. Let's just leave things as they are.
Well, if we must.
Besides,
I don't want to fall in love with you.
No?
No.
Oh, right. I don't want to, either.
But...
it'll be hard not to.
Very, very hard.
Why?
Because...
I've been in love with you
since the day I met you.
I'll go wash the dishes...
and clean up. Things are a mess.
Get some rest.
- Get in. - No!
Get in.
Come on.
I don't get it. I thought it was decided.
- They weren't going to do it. - This sucks.
What about me?
At least you two are getting married. I'm going to end up alone.
I feel so lousy lately.
So do I. I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going or who I am.
What am I doing wrong?
Sorry for saying this, but...
lately you've become a bad imitation of Susana.
You think so?
Now that you mention it, I've always thought
it must be hard for you to have so many things and so little brains.
It's not so bad, really.
At least, it's much better than having no personality whatsoever.
I guess it's worse than being a wimp and a daddy's boy.
Envy is unbearable, isn't it?
You know what? You're an arrogant fool.
Where were you?
Out getting some air.
Where's Ernesto?
Sleeping like a baby.
Of course.
I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted.
Tomorrow's our last day as singles.
Are you nervous?
No.
No?
It's just a formality.
That's what you said.
I'll never do what I did last night again.
I hope not.
Seriously. I totally regret it.
I think regret is for suckers.
It was really no big deal.
Look, Ernesto. I'd rather not go into detail.
- What detail? - Please, forget it.
I'm handling it just fine.
What?
I even feel liberated. Please don't go into it.
You think we had sex?
Just forget it.
Nothing happened.
Nothing?
Don't lie to me.
I'm not lying. It's the truth.
You went in the bedroom together.
She tucked me in and left me to sleep it off.
You're kidding me.
You disappoint me.
What?
You're totally irresponsible.
I don't see why.
Because you're unreliable.
You should have kept your word.
Well, I have something called free will.
And I didn't feel like it.
Right, so you just changed your mind. That's great. Wonderful.
What's your problem?
Fine, fine. Just drop it.
Right.
Sure.
Perfect. It fits like a glove.
It's a bit tight.
It looks great.
Wedding dresses give us a special light.
A man is different. All suits are the same.
My fianc� looks great in his.
The other day he tried it on...
Is something wrong?
Take it off.
It's like riding a bike. Once you get started,
you just can't stop.
Right.
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Okay.
We'll talk.
I really surprise myself.
Right. We'll stay in touch.
Ciao.
Lea.
They offered me my own show.
Talking and everything.
They didn't have sex.
What?
Are you sure?
I've been thinking about it all day. I don't know what to do.
What to do?
First you said he was faking, then that they were sleeping together,
and then you take advantage
of me in that piece-of-shit car!
I wouldn't call it taking advantage...
Jesus, Lea. You did some wild stuff to me.
Are you calling me raunchy, asshole?
No, I liked it.
Well, I didn't. Not at all.
Good. Because I love Susana more than ever.
You think I care about you?
I don't care about you or your marriage of convenience.
Convenience? What about your miraculous speech recovery?
Pretty suspicious. "Hi."
No way.
You are such
- a bastard! - God!
You're the biggest mistake I've ever made. You hear me?
I've got you.
You're a bad monkey.
I hate you.
There are condoms in the drawer.
I know.
I've never done this before, but...
As long as I'm here...
Okay.
I was wondering if you think my problem meeting men
has to do with my weight problem.
Well...
Probably, yes. I won't lie to you.
But anyway,
you'll meet someone, you'll see.
Life always gives you a chance.
Thanks.
I need to hear the truth, too.
What about?
Well, a friend of mine
who lately
feels very attracted to her best friend's boyfriend.
Right.
That's great.
But be careful.
But they're crazy about each other.
I'm not saying they aren't.
I'm sure he's hung up on her.
But...
there's a problem.
What's that?
He's dying.
He really loves her.
But he also loves his girlfriend and his best friend.
But even if it's hard for him,
he has to ask her
to make the effort and tell her boyfriend:
"I've been confused, but I want to marry you more than anything."
What do you say?
No.
No?
She can't keep lying.
She's going to tell everyone the truth.
Susana, wait!
Go on.
Hello?
Lea?
Hello?
Lea!
There's an explanation.
Who is he?
I can't keep pretending. We both know who he is.
It's Johnson.
Johnson? That was true?
I guess so.
Why's he hiding?
Right, why's he hiding?
Because he's very shy. And very foreign.
Why does that matter?
It does. You know how they are about this stuff.
No, actually I don't.
Let's go outside.
The poor guy must be so nervous.
Susana, I don't know what's happening to me.
I know it's wrong. It's wrong.
But he makes me horny.
Foreign guys are like that. They hit the spot.
Look, I'm really happy for you.
Really?
Yeah, because I have something to tell you about Ernesto.
Ernesto? Did something happen to him?
No, no. Well, yes.
It did and it didn't.
I don't understand.
Lea...
Yes?
Susana. Let me talk to her.
I think we should both be here.
Will you tell me what's going on?
Okay, sure.
Of course I will.
Jogging is such great exercise!
I feel brand new.
What's going on?
Nothing that concerns you.
Ernesto has something to tell us.
Well...
We can't go on like this.
I've been selfish.
I should never have said
I wanted to sleep with Susana.
We already knew that.
But...
One second.
Come to the hospital with me.
They're giving me the new results.
I'd like you all there.
Is that it?
That's it.
Alberto.
What?
I just wanted to say...
I've been confused, but I want to marry you more than anything.
I know.
Cured? And that's it?
Your body has responded quickly to the chemotherapy. It happens.
What wonderful news!
You said I was going to die.
You're a lucky man.
Oh, right. Thank you.
Don't forget your form. Come back next month for a check-up.
Okay.
I'll get the door.
Come along.
Goodbye. Say hi to your wife.
Why did you lie to him?
I wouldn't have...
but people tend to confuse the truth with medical negligence.
You understand?
I'm all right.
What?
I'm cured.
Completely.
- How? - I don't know. I'm cured.
You bastard!
That's great!
Hey, that's enough.
Ernesto?
Ernesto...
Ernesto!
Who's getting married?
Mario, you should quit drinking.
I'm serious. I still don't understand.
We are gathered here today
to celebrate the marriage
of our two parishioners,
Alberto and Susana,
which is always a motive
for happiness...
respect and love.
Excuse me.
Alberto.
Father.
Yes?
The bride. Her name is Lea.
Lea?
Okay.
As I was saying,
it's a time to remember our commitment to the Lord,
and to feel the joy of love, as you become man and wife,
in sickness and in health, in poverty
and in wealth,
for all eternity.
Amen.